An Internal Monologue

Adventures in unemployment.

6:30 AM: No. Snooze.

6:39 AM: Hard pass. Snooze.

6:48 AM: Okay. I can do this. Just need to rest my eyes for a touch longer. Can turn off this alarm though.

7:30 AM: AAAAA! Good thing I have the backup. Still need a moment though.

7:39 AM: Ugh. I was so comfortable too. Let me just get the alarm.

8:30 AM: Why am I like this? Why do I bother setting the early alarms? I never actually get up. Except maybe that one time. Ugh. So lazy.

8:39 AM: I guess I just talked to myself for nine minutes. At least I didn't fall asleep?

8:48 AM: I don't feel great. But, I never feel great in the morning. Am I okay?

8:57 AM: That cough wasn't great and pretty phlegmy. Am I actually sick? Or do I just wish I was?

9:06 AM: You're fine. Just get out of bed.

9:15 AM: I need to use the restroom. But that would involve getting up.

9:24 AM: It's not like the urge to go is going to just pass. You can do this.

9:33 AM: Okay. Taken care of.

9:42 AM: Why did I lay back down? That was dumb.

9:51 AM: Okay. Getting up. For real this time. Let's go. Should just make sure no important emails are on my phone.

10:00 AM: Wow! Number 5 did surprise me!

10:09 AM: Yes. I need to watch this video about some random geopolitical conflict that ended centuries ago.

10:18 AM: I'm just going to turn off the alarm. I'll get up after this video.

10:40 AM: Okay. I'll get up at 11.

11:00 AM: But this one is almost done!

11:30 AM: What have I been doing? You suck. Why do you suck this much? This is probably why you got laid off. You're just a lazy, sorry excuse for a human.

12:00 PM: Made it to the living room. Finally.

12:20 PM: I'd go outside, but that would require putting real clothes on. I should. It would be good to do something today.

1:00 PM: I cleaned up a little. That's something, right?

1:30 PM: Why am I so useless?

2:00 PM: Can I at least get some reading done?

3:00 PM: Should at least check the bank accounts. Make sure things are going okay. Wait, I spent how much when I went out? Ugh. Good thing I'm staying inside today.

3:30 PM: Is it really that different being here on the couch than on the bed?

4:00 PM: When are they getting home. I could really use some validation that I don't suck. Because today is a bit of evidence that I do.

4:30 PM: Honey! You're home! I really missed you. What did I do? Don't ask.

Pictured: Me.