On Transitioning and Morality

It’s sad to see former mentors, friends and other acquaintances to not be able to look past prejudice. I’m honestly not *mad* at these people (if anything, I pity them) – I’m just really disappointed (and hurt, depending on the individual in question). For example, I was recently told by someone I really looked up to that transitioning is “impossible” and that I should stop “poison[ing] and corrupt[ing]” my body. I (obviously) disagree. The TLDR here is that transitioning is not only very possible, but I believe it’s also the morally right thing to do if needed.

First, there is far more meaning assigned to gender than simple biology. Humans create rules and behaviors that become norms. It’s important recognize the origin of these norms. For example, is there a good reason why men can wear ties with suits and women typically don’t? No. It’s just something that we collectively decided was a norm. There are countless behaviors we associate with masculinity and femininity that aren’t inherently gendered (and can thus be transitioned to regardless of gender assigned at birth). Not only is transitioning socially very possible, but for some trans people, transitioning purely socially is the only goal (and that doesn’t make them any less valid). Others, like me, want to change their biology. And with the power of hormone therapy and modern medicine, I can tell you first hand that it makes a difference at that biological level. Further, strides in transgender medicine are also very promising and could one day make up any shortfall that currently exists.

Pictured: Yours truly and the difference nine months of hormones can make.

Because a social and physical transition is very possible, it’s clear that the argument the person was making was not that transitioning can’t be done, but that it *shouldn’t* be done. This is a very different assertion but one I also want to discuss, first from a more objective point of view and then a moral/religious lens.

Keeping morality out of the discussion for now, there are objective benefits to transitioning. For instance, there have been a number of studies linking transitioning with positive mental health developments. On the flip side, there are studies showing that not being able to transition can be associated with negative mental health consequences. Additionally, gender dysphoria is specifically recognized by all major psychological associations and is a condition that has been listed since 1980 in the DSM-III, IV, and V (though it is worth noting that not all trans people suffer from dysphoria).

Dysphoria is difficult to explain, but try to imagine you woke up in someone else’s body that was a different gender than you identify as. Then, imagine that no one notices anything is wrong and tells you that you must be crazy for thinking that. It would be distressing, no? That distress is something that was a constant in my life. Coming out felt like a weight lifted off my chest. Like I could finally breathe. It is the first time in my life I have felt truly at peace in my own body. Transitioning has helped me get CLOSER to who I am; not further from it. This, in and of itself, is a huge, objective benefit from transitioning.

Turning to a moral/religious view, I’ll start by saying I don’t see anything at odds between my faith and my transition to my truest self. I am not a theologian, so I won’t try to argue scripture/interpretation, but from my readings and prayers, I have satisfied myself that this is the correct and moral thing to do. If you are interested in more of a theological discussion, see this really good article (link).

However, in many ways, my spiritual life has benefited from transitioning. For example, I find myself going to church more than prior to my transition. Though not an indicator on its own, my increased attendance is a side effect of me being more at home in my faith. I also believe that I’ve been a better person since transitioning since I am under far less stress (see above notes on dysphoria). Though I’m not judging whether something is a sin by a simple feeling (though, I must say, it is very affirming), it is another sign that this is the right thing for me.

I’d like to pose a rhetorical question to those who disagree (that I would genuinely be interested in hearing the answer to, if you want to leave a comment): Why is gender assigned at birth the hill to die on? It’s not like we have some reverence of the human body when it comes to literally anything else. When someone has a bad hip, we don’t say “Well, it’s God’s plan and He made you perfect, so you just have to live with it.” No. We replace it. To bring it back to presentation at birth, if a baby has a birth defect, we try to fix it to the best of medicine’s ability. Why is it difficult to recognize that transitioning is correcting something that is wrong in a similar manner?

However, in the end, this is between me and God. And I give Him glory by being my truest self. I fundamentally believe my soul/spirit was shaped by Him. In contrast, my body is a collection of cells (an important collection and one that I want to preserve as long as possible, but cells nonetheless). If I can’t convince you that this is the *right* thing for me to do, I would ask that you at least respect my stance and not insert yourself into that relationship.

As a final thought - I will say that, after coming out and having people open up, there are a LOT more people in the closet than you may think (including people you definitely know). Even now, I can’t say with 100% certainty what ANYONE’S gender/sexuality is other than myself. If you ever end up questioning your own identity, I wish you the best of luck on your journey; no matter what you will know yourself better than when you started.