Proof of Concept: Excess Gas Reserves

This story started with the idea that politicians talk a lot of shit for people whose entire career can be ended by a single, ill-timed fart.

Crude? Perhaps. Funny? It was to me. Possible? Absolutely.

If you live in a democratic system, you already know how campaigns often can prioritize how they make a potential voter feel rather than focusing on facts. But that's a whole other issue. Campaigns can be vicious, but they are nothing compared to how fickle and cruel the news and public at large can be.

Pictured: Society can be great. It really can. But it can absolutely eviscerate people.

But the point of this whole post is so that you don't have to take my word for it. Example time!

It's January 2004 and the American presidential race is underway. Candidates are

actively campaigning to curry favor in the crucial first states that are holding their primaries. One presidential hopeful, Howard Dean (the former governor of Vermont), was not doing too great, coming in third in the first Iowa primary. Those within the campaign knew things were unraveling, but still had hope. Before leaving for New Hampshire, Dean gave a rally to show that he would not quit!

Pictured: The Slogan

It is worth mentioning at this juncture that Dean had a tendency to get caught up with the crowd at his events.

During the rally, Dean started to say that the campaign was not ending there. That they were "not only going to New Hampshire," but that they were going to see the campaign through. After listing out all the states he was planning on going to (and saying he was going to Washington D.C. to take back the White House for good measure), Dean let out an enthusiastic "Yeah!" to the crowd. Well, it was more of a "Yaww", but that was it. Little did he know, this brief flourish would change everything.

Pictured: YAWWWW! If you want to see the speech, you can find it here.

The rally seemed to go well, with the team feeling hopeful. None of the campaign staff thought the scream was amiss; it just seemed like a passionate part of a successful event. Later at the bar, a member of the team saw a certain clip being played repeatedly on the news. The fateful scream. That was the beginning of the end.

Though the concept of a video "going viral" was still catching on (YouTube would come out in the following year and Nyan Cat wouldn't come out for another seven years), Dean laid the groundwork for being humiliated over a video clip that only lasted a few seconds. Within the week, national network and cable shows played the clip over 900 times. (Someone even mixed it into Crazy Train by Ozzy Osbourne, which seemed like it would be cooler based on the article I was looking at, but it kind of sucks).

Dean's campaign went from "potentially the next president of the United States" to "dead in the water." He never ran for elected office again, instead becoming the head of the democratic national committee for a while (which is still quite the accomplishment; but that's not the point I'm making here).

So, yes. If a "YAWW" can end a campaign, a fart absolutely can because it's infinitely funnier. And that's just a fact.

And Howard, if you are somehow reading this (hi by the way; it's been a while), you have my sympathies. But, at least you didn't suffer the terrible fate of Sally McBride.