Stumped

To those coming from a card, thanks for coming and welcome to the blog! The answers you seek are below, but you should also consider looking around a bit. There's a little something for everyone here from an essay about outdated software, a poem about a certain *fun* number, a game you can play with your family, a semi-statistical analysis of JK Rowling's tweets, and much much more.

Updates typically happen weekly on Sundays, but I recommend signing up for the email reminders since there is no true "regular" schedule.

For those who aren't coming from a card, let me explain what's happening really quick. I now have business cards!

Pictured: The design of said business cards.

In the process, I had to come up with a title to summarize what I do. It was a harder question than it had any business being. So, I did what I do with annoying problems, I sidestepped it and made it fun instead.

So, on the back of my business cards, there are eight titles listed. Only ONE of them is not true. The challenge on the card is to figure out what the wrong one is. If you don't have that list handy, it's below:

1. Creator of Ice Cream

2. Caught Bill Clinton Picking their Nose

3. Likes Anchovies on Pizza

4. Time Magazine Person of the Year (2006)

5. Has Been Shot

6. Been to Space

7. Certified Sommelier

8. Never Seen Titanic

Take a few moments to place your bet on what is wrong. Put it in a comment NOW (before you see the answer). I'm trusting you here. Don't disappoint me.

Okay. You got one? Let's see if you are right! I'm going to go from most to least obvious.

1. Never Seen Titanic

Pretty self-explanatory here. However, I can confirm that the movie is in the popular zeitgeist so much that seeing the movie would be a formality at this point.

2. Likes Anchovies on Pizza

I don't get the hate. It's like extra salt!

Do you like Caesar dressing? Then you like the flavor of anchovies. Why not on pizza?

3. Has Been Shot

I grew up in a rural area on my family's ranch. On top of the cattle operations, my family also operated a hunting lodge. As soon as I could drive well, I was conscripted into the business and helped take clients out.

One fateful day during Blue Quail season, my father and I took a group of clients out. We were walking through a field when the quail scattered. The hunters raised their shotguns and went to shoot the birds. One flew between me and another hunter.

As a consolation, because shotguns are just firing a lot of BBs, I only had a few hit me and they were minor. But still.

Pictured: What is loaded in a shotgun shell in case you didn't know. These are buckshot, which are far bigger than the BBs I was hit with.

4. Caught Bill Clinton Picking their Nose

The year is 2007. Hillary Clinton is running against Barak Obama in the Democratic Presidential Primary. As part of the campaign, Bill also does a tour of the country to campaign for Hillary.

I come from a small town in the middle of West Texas. Basically the middle of nowhere. A side effect of the location is that things rarely happen. So, when something did happen, EVERYONE in the town went. So, my super Republican family ended up going anyway.

We get there a bit early. It's pretty much a standard political rally. During their speech, Bill reached up to scratch his nose and it... went in. It was a blink and you missed it. I didn't even realize it had happened until, while looking through the photos I had taken, there it was.

If you are reading this, it means I haven't found the photo itself yet (it was 2007, a few computers/hard drives ago). I still have to go back to Texas to see if it's there. But I'll update this as soon as that happens.

5. Creator of Ice Cream

Okay. You're going to hate me a bit on this one. It's one of those that is *technically* correct. I'm not saying that I was the first person to make ice cream. But I have made it. Thus, I am a creator of ice cream.

Save your "boos" for the next one...

6. Been to Space

You realize that Earth is in space, right?

Pictured: See?

7. Time Magazine Person of the Year (2006)

In 2006, Time Magazine declared that "You" would be the person of the year. The idea was to recognize how much content has been collectively created by users of the internet (think MySpace, Facebook, YouTube, blogs like this, etc.). TikTok wasn't a thing yet, but same idea there.

Pictured: What I was just talking about.

If you were alive in 2006, you were also the person of the year! Actually, the "you" is meant to encapsulate things going forward. So you are the person of the year; even if you weren't born yet.

*******

And that just leaves the fake one! I am not a certified sommelier. I actually started the process to become one and dropped out. Good times.

If you were right, congrats! And if you are new, welcome. I hope to see you around.